Aakar Patel wins Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Award

(Updating my blog with an old post I did in Faking News)

Indian Society for Obsessive Compulsive Disorders is pleased to announce that the OCD of the year 2013 award was given to Aakar Patel for his writings on Narendra Modi in a glittering but closed door ceremony held yesterday at JNU.

The President of the Society, Ramchandra Guha, said that the Society had a number of qualified nominees this year and choosing a winner was very difficult for the jury, comprising of Rajdeep Sardesai, Rana Ayub, among others. The rise of Modi in Indian politics has dramatically increased number of people with Modi related OCD behavior.

There were also demands that a special category be instituted for people suffering from M-OCD. While choosing not to disclose the names of the other nominees, he mentioned that unique thing about this year was that several foreign journalists and academics were also in the fray. Disclosing the key factor that tipped in favour of Aakar Patel was the fact that he simultaneously suffered from two OCDs that were both related to Modi. Every time he wrote about Narendra Modi, he had to compulsorily wash his hands with Dettol in order to cleanse himself. Such a two pronged obsessive behaviour arising out of a same cause was something new and not observed before amongst its members. Aakar established himself as a model for others to follow, gushed an excited Guha.

This unique OCD behaviour also lead First Post to install a washbasin besides his desk as part of their good HR practices. After the installation, his productivity increased greatly and is now generating one article every day on Mr Modi. During 2013 alone he has written 257 articles on Modi.The ceremony was well attended with several leading left luminaries choosing to attend the award function over their voting obligations. Many overseas members of the SOCD also flew down for this occasion. A special 75 seater plane was chartered by some academics in the UK.Prof Ashutosh Varshney demanded that like IIFA, SOCD awards ceremony should be held across the world. He said that leading publications like NYT, WAPO and The Economist were willing to be the title sponsors for these international award ceremonies.

Mr Aakar Patel, pleased with this award exulted that he also wants to write Modi’s name one crore times, a practice some Hindu’s follow to attain liberation. Disclosing that he is currently in talks with Dettol who wants him to be their brand ambassador, to install a pipeline from their factory so that he never runs out of soap, now that he has to wash his hands every 30 seconds when begins writing ‘Modi-koti’. He also expressed his ambition of reaching 1000 articles on Modi during the coming few years and thereby be in the running for the Lifetime achievement award, the only other contender being Ramchandra Guha, whose has already written 952 articles against Hinduism.

This post appeared first in Faking News:


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